- "True romance" de Claudine CARPENTER

 

"True romance" de Claudine CARPENTER, texte écrit en anglais et lu-traduit à l'oral en français lors de la séance

"For me, sex in marriage is like the little plastic toy that they put at the bottom of the pack of washing powder to make you buy it." Edward spoke in a strong, confident voice. Silence fell around the room. Roger and Nick looked at their friend with their eyes like saucers and their mouths agape. Jane and Constance were turned towards Edward's pretty young wife with an expression of concern. The wife sat still as a stone, cheeks burning, ears ringing, wondering if her understanding of English had temporarily left her and hoping that this was the case. "Do you realise", enunciated Nick slowly, "do you realise, Edward, how incredibly rude you have just been to your wife?" The year is 1974, The Joy of Sex has only just crossed the pond, and copies are selling like hot cakes. Nick, a man who always has his finger on the cultural pulse, has managed to get his hands on a copy of the book in Foyles of London. The shiny hardback edition has been placed spot bang in the middle of the sitting room coffee table for when the guests had arrived for their drinks party. Marie had had to swallow back a gulp of surprise when she had spotted the large book, whose purple and pink cover showed two naked torsos (a male and a female one) embracing, and her eyes had opened like saucers when she had read the title. In her native France, she would have made a witty humorous comment, that made it nonetheless clear that she really didn't fancy talking about that stuff over drinks. Her English was still hesitant however, and she was afraid of putting a damper on the atmosphere so she didn't say a word, bracing herself for what was probably going to be a long and uncomfortable evening. They had been the first to arrive at the party and neither she nor her husband had commented on the book. Instead, once they had been handed their drinks (Sherry for her and Coca-Cola for him), they had stuck to safe subjects like little Caroline's teething problems (Margaret and Nick's daughter was six months old and such a bonny little thing…) and Harold Wilson's return to Prime Ministership. However, Roger and Jane had turned up shortly after. As soon as he saw the book on the table, Rodger had guffawed and clapped. After calling Nick a dirty old dog, he had commented on how happy he was that his old school friend was getting into literature at last. Now that his audience was all there and that he had their attention, Nick was ready to start. He cracked the book open and started to read selected passages to his friends, generously sharing his "boudoir wisdom" with them. He read a few paragraphs that focused on manual techniques, stopping to comment on each one's effectiveness, using hand gestures to emphasise or illustrate his words, to the general laughter. Rodger joined in, asking the wives what they thought of the movements described and sometimes illustrated with diagrams. The wives were laughing at their men's side. It was the 70's and the sexual revolution was already old news, women, even nice young ladies like the ones who were present, were allowed to take part in these conversations nowadays. They were also allowed to publicly admit to having sex and to enjoying it. Especially now that they had all secured their position as wives. Margaret was laughing the loudest, she had already finished her third glass of sherry, her large hoop earrings shaking as she guffawed whilst listening to her husband describe the effects some of the book's techniques had on "women's bodies". In truth, she was trying to hide her slight confusion because she couldn't remember any of these techniques being used on her body. She wouldn't have admitted it but she didn't really know where her clitoris was, so she supposed that she wouldn't really know if her husband had stroked it with the movements he described. Surely if they had had the effects he was mentioning, she ought to remember them? Jane was also laughing along. She knew where her clitoris was and had already taught Brian how to handle it to obtain the best results. It had been difficult at first as Brian had been slightly over enthusiastic and their first few times had been disappointingly brief and she had had to be very patient with him. Luckily, they had now gotten into a very smooth, enjoyable, routine. She looked tenderly at her husband, who was egging his friend along and his amusement made her laugh. He was like a little boy! Conky was a nurse. She knew the human body inside out and felt no squeamishness when she thought of it. In her profession she was exposed to broken, painful, ill bodies. Talking about the pleasure that could be derived from the body was a pleasant break from her day job. Moreover, she had studied psychology and she knew better than anyone in the room how important it was to give in to your drives, including the drive to shock and appal. And gosh! She enjoyed love making as much as the next girl. So she giggled along. Edward looked over at his young, his beautiful young wife. She was listening to the conversation, without laughing, her eyes were wide open and shiny, as if she were about to cry. He understood, she was shocked. They had, after all, only been married a few months and the physical aspect of things was so new to her. He knew she wouldn't be able to take part in this conversation that was, in truth, quite inappropriate. He loved her so much. He loved her laughter, her curiosity, her foreignness. He loved her energy, he loved her smell, he loved how she frowned in mock anger when he called her "Froggy", he loved to see her dressed up in an elegant outfit or in the kitchen with a shawl holding back her wild hair and an apron tied around her waist. He loved to see her curled up in the sofa, reading in English and jotting down the words she didn't know. He loved her so much he had even married her in a Catholic Church. He loved her inner and also her outer beauty. Of course, he also loved their moments of intimacy, how couldn't you love those moments with someone you love so fully someone you love for so many objective reasons as well as loving her despite yourself? So, to protect her, to defend her, he spoke. And the laughter stopped. He had insulted his wife. Slowly, after the initial shock had passed, they steered the conversation over to other more consensual topics. Margaret got up to get another bottle of Sherry from the drinks cupboard. Nick lit another cigarette, Jane and Conky talked about work and Brian and Roger asked Marie to tell them all about the Tancarville bridge and if it really was the engineering feat they had heard it was . The evening came to as smooth a close as was possible at 10 pm. Margaret was slurring slightly when she waved them off, Nick had smoked almost a whole packet of cigarettes but all in all the evening had been a relative success. Edward was the one who drove the car home. Marie looked out of the window, tears slowly slipping down her cheeks.